Sunday, February 2, 2014

Baby Clothing - How to Dodge the Expensive Cuteness Grenade

Show of hands - how many of you had baby clothes that your baby never, ever wore?  I'm putting away clothes with the tags still on, and I'm pondering the great scam that is baby fashion.

In retrospect, there are ways to navigate the minefield, but nobody tells new mothers this.  No, they bombard you with images if impossibly tiny little dresses and shirts and onesies with cute prints that cost $34.99 each.  Never mind that your baby will stain them irreparably with the first poop blow-out.  You are a bad mother if you don't buy them!

Practicality

First off, most baby clothes are designed by sadists with a flair for cute prints.  Why is it so freaking impossible to find onesies that don't go over the head?  Yes, sir, that's exactly what I need for my first foray into motherhood - wrestling my baby's head through the inadequately sized neck hole of your creation.
And God forbid the baby had a blowout.  Have you tried to take a poop encrusted onesie over the head of a screaming newborn?  They are not impressed.  They scream louder.

Thankfully my mother in law is French and thoughtfully brought some onesies over  from Lyon.  But what about this side of the ocean?  ParadeBaby.com and occasionally the Gap have them.  Otherwise you are completely screwed.

Cost

A footed sleeper can cost you anywhere from $5 at Walmart or Target , to about $10-15 at Carter's , or $25 at the Gap.   Or course, there are the more advanced designer options that will cost way more, but seriously, you do not need that at all.  As long as the clothes withstand laundering every other day, you are fine.

Size and Count

You will get as shower gifts a bazillion onesies for 0-3 months.  You need about 8.  All others will not be worn.

You will also get about fifty dresses / suits / jackets that your baby will never, ever wear except for pictures. They are a pain in the ass to put on, and you will be tired.

What about after?

Once your baby has outgrown the clothes, you have three options:

1. Save them for baby #2
This is usually a good to do anyway, especially for gender-neutral items.

2. Give them away
You can do a mommy sale or try second-hand stores or Kijiji.

3. Get crafty
There are small businesses that can help you turn your baby clothes into lovely quilts, pillows, collages, and other practical items that will keep your baby memories close.

Bottom Line

Your fitness as a parent is not dependent on your child's clothing.  Trust me, babies are cute no matter what.  They are designed to be that way.  Go cheap, go practical, and relax.

No comments:

Post a Comment