My husband and I are not those obnoxious twice-a-day sex married couples. Frankly we have busy lives and some nights I'd rather pass out than have sex with anyone, including my husband or a hypothetical Nathan Fillion / Adam Levine combination man that would truly be God's gift to this woman.
But if a week goes by with no sex, I start to get antsy and annoyed. So we had to work out the post baby loving pretty darn quickly.
According to an instant mommy poll at a recent Starbucks stroller summit, there are three options for sex post-baby:
Option 1: Sex while baby is sleeping
While your baby is sleeping or otherwise busy, you get it on a few feet away while hoping that your baby will not be telling this story to their therapist one day. This option is easy, and it's the one we opted for. Our baby crib has solid panels so she can't see us, and in the middle of the night we can both get it on AND cuddle afterwards - winning combination.
Some parents may worry that this will warp their baby, but frankly at that point you might as well worry that they will remember coming out of your vagina. It's silly.
Option 2: Babysitting
In this option, you get a babysitter and have sex in a hotel room, the back seat of your car, or upstairs in your bedroom. While this is a lovely option for a special occasion (e.g an anniversary) and I fully plan to leverage it more frequently when the baby is older and we can leave her overnight with her grandparents, for now it's too much of a bother.
For starters, when I have help I use the time to run errands and see doctors, etc. I'm also too old to have sex in the back of my Honda. And while we have had sex while one of our parents watched the baby downstairs, it was rather hurried and not really a long-term option.
Option 3: Wait til later
This option usually results in divorce, or in Option 4: Banging the secretary and/or electrician
I'm sure there are other ways parents have found (please share), but the important thing is to find ways to be intimate. I think the reason that so many divorces happen after the kids come is because parents forget to prioritize their partners. Soon you are just a parent, and no longer a spouse, and that's not viable long-term.
One more note. In order to facilitate the aforementioned intimacy, you have to make an effort to be sexy. Wear sexy underwear, wax your legs, put on a nice skirt. Shave your beard, put on nice boxers, dab on some cologne. It's hard when you are sleep-deprived and cranky, but your relationship is worth it.
