I'm pretty sure that my baby's first words will be along the lines of "what the fuck". When I mentioned this possibility to my father, he calmly suggested that it's more likely to be "douche bag". My husband is betting on "balls", but that's just because we play episodes of Big Bang Theory all the time.
The reality is, I swear around my kid all the time. Not AT her, you understand, just around her. I swear when my husband and I are discussing current events over breakfast. To be honest, I think it's impressive we find the time to do that, with or without the smut. I swear when I chat with my girlfriends. I swear when I drive. A lot, actually. And very creatively.
My daughter is with me pretty much 24-7, so she hears all of it.
I have tried cleaning up my language around her, but it's just not working. Sometimes it makes it worse.
So I have decided to just be OK with it. Yeah, it's not going to win me any mother of the year awards, but it keeps me sane. And I figure if my kid hears this from me, rather than some snot-nosed little jerk in kindergarden, then so be it.
The thing is, we do all sorts of things around our kids that we don't want them to do. We drink, park badly, j-walk, eat junk food, wear overly sexy clothes, smack our partner's ass when they are wearing particularly fetching pants... I don't want my daughter to do any of that, but it doesn't mean I'm going to stop.
And when eventually she does start doing those things, is it really so bad for her to see them as a normal part of being an adult? I mean, she's going to do them anyway...
If swearing is as integral to your personality as it is to mine, I say don't worry about it too much. I don't think your little treasure will be telling these stories to their therapist some day.
Maybe try to clean up the worst of it. For example, the other day some lady cut me off and I almost called her a syphilitic whore. But my daughter was in the back seat. So I just implored the driver to remove her head from her sphincter. I may have also maligned her parentage a bit.
But I think my little girl is more likely to remember the music class we went to, and the book we read after, and the cuddles on the sofa after that. I love her, and I'm pretty sure she loves me, filthy mouth and all.
Friday, February 21, 2014
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
Stroller Wars - A Comprehensive Review of Strollers
I live in Uppababy Country. Seriously, when I go to my mommy & me classes, there are usually 25-30 strollers parked outside the community centre. Of those, at least 20 are Uppababy. The rest are a mix of "other" and we usually get pitying looks from the other moms.
On the other side of the main street is Bugaboo Village. Same story, different brand. The Starbucks I like to go to is in the middle of Bugaboo village square, and again, I'm the odd one out.
Then I joined a mommy group outside my neighbourhood, and lo and behold, we all drove different strollers. Having found myself with the perfect focus group, I had to do a comprehensive review.
Features to look for
1. Age range - not all strollers are compatible with newborns, or with bucket seats.
2. Car seat compatibility - many strollers need adapters to fit car seats, and most have only a limited number of brands they work with. If you have a car seat in mind, make sure it will fit your stroller, or vice versa.
3. Basket - at the very least, it will need to hold your diaper bag, so it should be big enough and easily accessible.
4. Lifestyle - stroller should be light enough and narrow enough to fit your needs. Do you need larger wheels for rough terrain or snow? Do you need an option to attach a second seat for another child? Do you need an adjustable handle for a taller or shorter parent? How easy is it to fold - this is critical especially if you will be in and out of the car a lot.
5. Price - you will likely have more than one stroller over your child's first 3 years, so don't overspend.
6. Style - let's face it, you want to push a cute stroller. How you define cute is of course up to you
Brands
Uppababy
The most popular with the yummy mummy set, an Uppababy Vista will set you back about $800. It comes with a convenient bassinet and a seat that can be forward or rear-facing. It has the best shopping basket, by far, but is also heavy as all get out (25 pounds) and wide as a tank.
If you are not too fussed about the bassinet, the Cruz is about $300 cheaper, and 3 pounds lighter. It has the same great shopping basket.
Fun Fact: Marshall and Lilly's baby on "How I Met Your Mother" is sporting an ice blue Cruz in season 9!
Bugaboo & Stokke
I put these in the same category since they are both over a grand. Sorry, but $1,000 is a LOT of money, even if the stroller does look better than my first car.
On the plus side, these come with a wide array of fancy accessories, and in a rainbow of colours. The strollers transform into all sorts of convenient set-ups, and are ergonomically aligned for both mom and dad. The Stokke was on a special pedestal in my local mommy store.
However, at that price, they would also have to change diapers for me to even consider them.
Baby Jogger
As a proud owner of a City Mini GT, I love, love, love the City series. At $400, you get a smaller stroller that you can fold with the lift of a handle in the middle of the seat. Seriously, it is the reason to buy this stroller.
The only draw-back is the basket, which is a pain in the butt to access and is kinda small. But if you are looking to zip around town, or fold it in and out of the car all the time, this is a super easy stroller at a great price.
BOB, Bumbleride, Phil & Ted
Of the "Jogger" options, I would recommend the Bumbleride. It's the easiest to fold, and the slickest looking. Phil & Ted is the easiest to steer, but painful to fold. BOB is a bit of a mess, and feels unstable.
That being said, these seem to be the longest-used options. Many moms I talked to ended up switching their other strollers for either an umbrella stroller or a jogging stroller once their baby hit about 9 months. At $400-$500 each, the price is right too.
Graco
This was the choice of commuter moms. Apparently the Gracos are the easiest to get on buses and subways. They still offer good baskets and large wheels, with easy steering.
They also have the widest choice of compatible car seats which often come as part of their travel system packages.
The one complaint I have heard is that they start to look used a little too quickly.
Bottom Line
The best advice I got was from a friend of mine who has 4 kids. She showed me her garage, where she had 7 strollers lined up. She said, "Make sure that you are ready to change strollers as your child's needs and your needs change".
You may decide that you need a smaller, lighter stroller. Or you may have another baby and need a double. Or you may start jogging or hiking and need an all-terrain stroller. Or God knows what else might change.
In retrospect, I love my City Mini GT, but occasionally I still regret not getting a Bumbleride because I love the look of it. It may be shallow, but such is life.
The biggest mistake I think, is to overspend on a first stroller when you don't really know yet what life with a baby will be like. Buy something flexible that will allow you to go out of the house with your baby and be ready for a change.
I am now shopping for an umbrella stroller, and will do another review once I'm done with that research.
On the other side of the main street is Bugaboo Village. Same story, different brand. The Starbucks I like to go to is in the middle of Bugaboo village square, and again, I'm the odd one out.
Features to look for
1. Age range - not all strollers are compatible with newborns, or with bucket seats.
2. Car seat compatibility - many strollers need adapters to fit car seats, and most have only a limited number of brands they work with. If you have a car seat in mind, make sure it will fit your stroller, or vice versa.
3. Basket - at the very least, it will need to hold your diaper bag, so it should be big enough and easily accessible.
4. Lifestyle - stroller should be light enough and narrow enough to fit your needs. Do you need larger wheels for rough terrain or snow? Do you need an option to attach a second seat for another child? Do you need an adjustable handle for a taller or shorter parent? How easy is it to fold - this is critical especially if you will be in and out of the car a lot.
5. Price - you will likely have more than one stroller over your child's first 3 years, so don't overspend.
6. Style - let's face it, you want to push a cute stroller. How you define cute is of course up to you
Brands
Uppababy
The most popular with the yummy mummy set, an Uppababy Vista will set you back about $800. It comes with a convenient bassinet and a seat that can be forward or rear-facing. It has the best shopping basket, by far, but is also heavy as all get out (25 pounds) and wide as a tank.
If you are not too fussed about the bassinet, the Cruz is about $300 cheaper, and 3 pounds lighter. It has the same great shopping basket.
Fun Fact: Marshall and Lilly's baby on "How I Met Your Mother" is sporting an ice blue Cruz in season 9!
Bugaboo & Stokke
I put these in the same category since they are both over a grand. Sorry, but $1,000 is a LOT of money, even if the stroller does look better than my first car.
On the plus side, these come with a wide array of fancy accessories, and in a rainbow of colours. The strollers transform into all sorts of convenient set-ups, and are ergonomically aligned for both mom and dad. The Stokke was on a special pedestal in my local mommy store.
However, at that price, they would also have to change diapers for me to even consider them.
Baby Jogger
As a proud owner of a City Mini GT, I love, love, love the City series. At $400, you get a smaller stroller that you can fold with the lift of a handle in the middle of the seat. Seriously, it is the reason to buy this stroller.
The only draw-back is the basket, which is a pain in the butt to access and is kinda small. But if you are looking to zip around town, or fold it in and out of the car all the time, this is a super easy stroller at a great price.
BOB, Bumbleride, Phil & Ted
Of the "Jogger" options, I would recommend the Bumbleride. It's the easiest to fold, and the slickest looking. Phil & Ted is the easiest to steer, but painful to fold. BOB is a bit of a mess, and feels unstable.
That being said, these seem to be the longest-used options. Many moms I talked to ended up switching their other strollers for either an umbrella stroller or a jogging stroller once their baby hit about 9 months. At $400-$500 each, the price is right too.
Graco
This was the choice of commuter moms. Apparently the Gracos are the easiest to get on buses and subways. They still offer good baskets and large wheels, with easy steering.
They also have the widest choice of compatible car seats which often come as part of their travel system packages.
The one complaint I have heard is that they start to look used a little too quickly.
Bottom Line
The best advice I got was from a friend of mine who has 4 kids. She showed me her garage, where she had 7 strollers lined up. She said, "Make sure that you are ready to change strollers as your child's needs and your needs change".
You may decide that you need a smaller, lighter stroller. Or you may have another baby and need a double. Or you may start jogging or hiking and need an all-terrain stroller. Or God knows what else might change.
In retrospect, I love my City Mini GT, but occasionally I still regret not getting a Bumbleride because I love the look of it. It may be shallow, but such is life.
The biggest mistake I think, is to overspend on a first stroller when you don't really know yet what life with a baby will be like. Buy something flexible that will allow you to go out of the house with your baby and be ready for a change.
I am now shopping for an umbrella stroller, and will do another review once I'm done with that research.
Sunday, February 2, 2014
Baby Clothing - How to Dodge the Expensive Cuteness Grenade
Show of hands - how many of you had baby clothes that your baby never, ever wore? I'm putting away clothes with the tags still on, and I'm pondering the great scam that is baby fashion.
In retrospect, there are ways to navigate the minefield, but nobody tells new mothers this. No, they bombard you with images if impossibly tiny little dresses and shirts and onesies with cute prints that cost $34.99 each. Never mind that your baby will stain them irreparably with the first poop blow-out. You are a bad mother if you don't buy them!
Practicality
First off, most baby clothes are designed by sadists with a flair for cute prints. Why is it so freaking impossible to find onesies that don't go over the head? Yes, sir, that's exactly what I need for my first foray into motherhood - wrestling my baby's head through the inadequately sized neck hole of your creation.
And God forbid the baby had a blowout. Have you tried to take a poop encrusted onesie over the head of a screaming newborn? They are not impressed. They scream louder.
Thankfully my mother in law is French and thoughtfully brought some onesies over from Lyon. But what about this side of the ocean? ParadeBaby.com and occasionally the Gap have them. Otherwise you are completely screwed.
Cost
A footed sleeper can cost you anywhere from $5 at Walmart or Target , to about $10-15 at Carter's , or $25 at the Gap. Or course, there are the more advanced designer options that will cost way more, but seriously, you do not need that at all. As long as the clothes withstand laundering every other day, you are fine.
Size and Count
You will get as shower gifts a bazillion onesies for 0-3 months. You need about 8. All others will not be worn.
You will also get about fifty dresses / suits / jackets that your baby will never, ever wear except for pictures. They are a pain in the ass to put on, and you will be tired.
What about after?
Once your baby has outgrown the clothes, you have three options:
1. Save them for baby #2
This is usually a good to do anyway, especially for gender-neutral items.
2. Give them away
You can do a mommy sale or try second-hand stores or Kijiji.
3. Get crafty
There are small businesses that can help you turn your baby clothes into lovely quilts, pillows, collages, and other practical items that will keep your baby memories close.
Bottom Line
Your fitness as a parent is not dependent on your child's clothing. Trust me, babies are cute no matter what. They are designed to be that way. Go cheap, go practical, and relax.
In retrospect, there are ways to navigate the minefield, but nobody tells new mothers this. No, they bombard you with images if impossibly tiny little dresses and shirts and onesies with cute prints that cost $34.99 each. Never mind that your baby will stain them irreparably with the first poop blow-out. You are a bad mother if you don't buy them!
Practicality
First off, most baby clothes are designed by sadists with a flair for cute prints. Why is it so freaking impossible to find onesies that don't go over the head? Yes, sir, that's exactly what I need for my first foray into motherhood - wrestling my baby's head through the inadequately sized neck hole of your creation.
And God forbid the baby had a blowout. Have you tried to take a poop encrusted onesie over the head of a screaming newborn? They are not impressed. They scream louder.
Thankfully my mother in law is French and thoughtfully brought some onesies over from Lyon. But what about this side of the ocean? ParadeBaby.com and occasionally the Gap have them. Otherwise you are completely screwed.
Cost
A footed sleeper can cost you anywhere from $5 at Walmart or Target , to about $10-15 at Carter's , or $25 at the Gap. Or course, there are the more advanced designer options that will cost way more, but seriously, you do not need that at all. As long as the clothes withstand laundering every other day, you are fine.
Size and Count
You will get as shower gifts a bazillion onesies for 0-3 months. You need about 8. All others will not be worn.
You will also get about fifty dresses / suits / jackets that your baby will never, ever wear except for pictures. They are a pain in the ass to put on, and you will be tired.
What about after?
Once your baby has outgrown the clothes, you have three options:
1. Save them for baby #2
This is usually a good to do anyway, especially for gender-neutral items.
2. Give them away
You can do a mommy sale or try second-hand stores or Kijiji.
3. Get crafty
There are small businesses that can help you turn your baby clothes into lovely quilts, pillows, collages, and other practical items that will keep your baby memories close.
Bottom Line
Your fitness as a parent is not dependent on your child's clothing. Trust me, babies are cute no matter what. They are designed to be that way. Go cheap, go practical, and relax.
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